The Reason i don’t want a girl in my life right now!

There are two reasons:

1. They Annoy me. 

2. They don’t understand Sarcasm. 

If i had a girlfriend right now, my phone inbox would be filled with crappy no meaning conversations like this:

My girlfriend: Hi!
Me: Hey!

My girlfriend: I see a bit of sarcasm in your tone.
Me: Sarcasm? Why would I be sarcastic?

My girlfriend: How would I know? Ask yourself.
Me: But pray tell me, how can a “Hey” be sarcastic?

My girlfriend: You wouldn`t understand. Forget it.
Me: Aree…if you didn`t want me to think about it, why even mention it? Answer my question – how can a “Hi” be sarcastic?

My girlfriend: I donno. I no longer feel the same warmth in your tone.
Me: Is it because of the cold I have?

My girlfriend: See, you are being sarcastic again.
Me: Yes, this time….I agree.

My girlfriend: If you can agree now…why didn`t you agree earlier?
Me: I am not being sarcastic baby. Tell me what makes you think something is wrong.

As i said, they dont understand Sarcasm! 😦

My girlfriend: I don`t know. My heart says so.
Me: Your heart? I didn`t know hearts could speak!

My girlfriend: See…you are being sarcastic again!
Me: Yes, this time also….I agree.

My girlfriend: I feel things aren`t the same with us anymore.
Me: What makes you feel so?

My girlfriend: Your tone.
Me: Do you think gargling would help? It is this darn cold.

My girlfriend: I can see the sarcasm flowing again.
Me: Yes, this time also….I agree.

My girlfriend: You never used to raise your voice with me.
Me: But baby, we have known each other for two years now. Even married couples start fighting in two years!

My girlfriend: Don`t. Don`t raise your voice.
Me: No I didn`t! I didn`t raise my voice at all!

My girlfriend: Now you are. Why are you shouting?
Me: If you get unreasonable, what do I do?

My girlfriend: See….I told you…you aren`t the same anymore.
Me: Ohh God. What makes you think so?

My girlfriend: Don`t raise your voice, I said.
Me: No sweetheart. I am not raising my voice.

My girlfriend: You don`t have to say that so loudly. I am NOT deaf.
Me: I know you are not deaf of ears….

My girlfriend: See…sarcasm again.
Me: Ohh my God. Tell me what I have to do to make you happy!

My girlfriend: Just be yourself.
Me: Baby, I am being myself.

My girlfriend: No, this isn`t the man I loved.
Me: I am just myself. How can a man who lives for 100 years change drastically in 2 years?

My girlfriend: You never used to argue with me earlier.
Me: I am not arguing!

My girlfriend: Don`t shout!
Me: I am not shouting!

My girlfriend: I think you want to dump me.
Me: No I don`t. Why would I? This started as a casual conversation and here we are talking of dumping?

My girlfriend: Yes. That`s what you want to do…and I can feel that.
Me: What makes you feel that?

My girlfriend: I donno….I just know.
Me: How can you know ….when you donno…

My girlfriend: I donno…
Me: Ok fine. So what should we do? You suggest.

My girlfriend: Take a one-week break, maybe?
Me: I am fine with the idea, if that`s what you want.

My girlfriend: I don`t want that. I am just doing it for you.
Me: What??!!

My girlfriend: Yes. Let us take a break, if that`s what you want.
Me: Ok fine.

My girlfriend: Now you being sarcastic…
Me: How can “Ok fine” be sarcastic?

My girlfriend: I donno…
Me: I donno too sweetheart. But bye.

My girlfriend: Bye.
Me: Yes, take care. Call me if you feel like calling me.

My girlfriend: See…you are being sarcastic about my feelings now.
Me: Yes, I was.

And now i am praying to god to please let my phone battery be dead when the next message comes! Women are complex, much more than the algebra.

Original Idea form


About Anmol Jani

You think you've got the whole world figured out, haven't you? I haven't. I'm ready to be surprised.

Posted on April 27, 2012, in Facebook, Funny, Inspirational, love, Motivationa, Social networking, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. i have been a fan of your writing since day 1 just wanted to say that, keep it up!

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