The image of india throught the mind of an Indian.

this article is not written by me but i was very much inspired to tell you guys the good parts. So, I’m posting this on 15th August, the Indian Independence day. Dont take it too seriously, if you expect this article to be patriotic then I’m SORRY!

India, the world’s biggest democrazy, is an Asian mishmash composed of dirt, swamp, sparks, haze, spice, mind, ignorance, enlightenment, bliss, discrimination and egos all wrapped tightly in the void.  It is an ancient conch-shell shaped land-mass surrounded by Pakistan to the West, Bangladesh to the East, China to the North East, Nepal to the North, Sri Lanka to the South, the Bay of Bengal to the West, with the smog above, the dead ancestors below, and which is directly accessible from most anywhere by foot.

Capital of India: New Delay.

Official language of India: Hinglish, Hindi, Urdu, Marathi, Bengali, Sanskrit, plus 7243 colloquial dialects.

Government of India: None. Utter mother flipping chaos!

Declaration of Independence: still struggling.

Currency: Cow, Dung, Rupee.

Religion: But, of course.

Creation start date: Eternity. In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God, and the word was OM. Using this sexy little symbol the Supreme Being conjured up the material existence in one colossal big bag which resulted in matter infused with spirits and vise versa. Actually it is a bit more complex than that. God sprouted a lotus from his navel and from there sprang forth Brahma, the created creator. Brahma looked all around and could only see water. So he thought WTF? And proceeded to torture himself so severely that God appeared before him and asked WTF? Brahma told God that he wanted to do his thing, but just plain forgot. With that God cast his casual-glance upon Brahma and thence forth appeared Grade A “Potli”. Brahma immediately drank some “Potli” and got so intoxicated that he had it all figured out, where upon he created India. As the ions passed many alien-incarnations appeared to try and talk sense into the dinosaurs, but it wasn’t until an alien shagged a dinosaur, whose off-spring in turn impregnated a monkey, that the DNA of man & women appeared from the muck and populated the land.

The British lads, obsessed as they were with a New World Order, saw India and decided they wanted it. Oy Vey! It was theirs for the taking. And the plunder began. This led to poverty among the monkey men which persisted until one bald man took over. The Mahatma said that monkey men must not fight for independence, rather they should strike for independence. His idea was that this would confuse the British, even though they were all employed by the British. The plan worked, and ended up not only confusing the British but even the Indians themselves who got fired from their jobs, leaving them all unemployed, ending up in even greater poverty.

The biggest problem that this bald man did not anticipate was that India, being a subcontinent of billions of everything, would go on to want independence from itself as well. Apparently a common interest in all things curry was not enough to unite a nation or maintain peace with neighboring states. There was only one solution, something that has kept the Indians united and reduced the number of casualties from fighting across the meaningless man-made borders separating village from water source, home from outhouse, and temple from gurudwara. Of course the mystical answer was Bollywood. It doesn’t matter what caste, religion, language or culture the modern Indian hails from, absolutely no one with a TV could be bothered fighting when they could tune into the constant stream of low budget cinema being beamed into their cow-dung encrusted slums.

In India if you want any one to work for you then you actually have to pay them. Yes, it is quite shocking. Such misbehaviour and naked greed were unthinkable in the non-Indian world. Imagine, in the land of India you actually have to pay to play. What more needs to be said about corruption. Better to stay home and wash your own dishes in India.

When not being discriminated by any foreign power, the caste system exists which allows the Indian populace to discriminate against each other. This is called Varna-dharma or the shit-list. People in India are classified as either a godman (Brahmin), a bully (Kshatriya), a merchant (Vaisya), or a dirt bag (Sudra). And this is NOT based on birth-right. It is based solely on manifest qualities or lack thereof, viz., birth-wrong.

Humor, although non-existent in India, never-the-less does exist there. And rather than bore you with genres, an example Indian joke should suffice to establish that India is no laughing matter. Once upon a time a poor Indian farmer in Bihar was trying to plant an egg farm. The fellow planted eggs and watered then, day after day, but all to no avail. So the farmer went to the government office to complain. After meeting with one Indian bureaucrat and telling his story he was advised that nothing could be done without a soil sample. Case closed.

Indians eat spice. They drink spice, smoke spice, sweat spice, fart spice, and even shit spice. Sometimes if you order it specially you can get food intermixed with all these spices, but you must insist on it while ordering in public restaurants.
Indian food comes in two different dishes, basically containing the same ingredients, curry, and matter. Combined with the 2,375 different flavours of spice though, an Indian dinner can be combined in 10 ^ 87 different ways, giving more tastes than there are taste buds in the mouth. This makes all Indian food end up in tasting unusually spicy, since what the taste buds can detect are basically nuked by all the manifold sensations attacking them.

As you can’t write or do mathematics without something to write with, the primary export of India is ink, which is produced in massive quantities by the Indian held megacorporation India Inc.[6] for worldwide export. This makes India one of the world’s most powerful countries — if Indians wanted, they could render all printers obsolete.
Some profane minds that fancy eating beef have conjectured elsewhere that the reason behind the phenomenal explosion of the cow population in India is because Indians do not eat cows. That’s like saying that the reason behind the exponential growth of humans in India is because cows do not eat humans; or are too busy taking calls from mindless, frustrated Americans; or too busy building the digital cow milking machine for future generations who are too busy breathing in and out.
A large part of the Indian economy is dependent on Mumbai and Bollywood. It is also dependent on a small workers, otherwise known as children in other parts of the world. All volunteer to leave boring school to work 24/7 to supply clothes to rich people who only buy designer garments with the label ‘Hand Woven’ on them.

Not satisfied with merely inventing writing and mathematics, Indians took their combined love of communication, their numerous Gods and their love lives, and their love of partying, and creating the most powerful art form that exists today: Bollywood movies.
Bollywood is a very popular film industry and is as popular as Hollywood and is known all over India. They make the worst films in the world. A film is released every 15 minutes. There are no topics in Bollywod movies except for stupid love stories in which uncultured, undisciplined actresses dance shaking their 50 inch booties to the hollow tint of prerecorded music, replete with the sounds of gunfire.
Virtually everyone watches them, including lesbian high school girls and over-sized, middle-aged, old-age housewives. The primary reason for the continuation of the boom in the cinema industry in India is that it’s cheaper to pay to sleep in the cool confines of a cinema hall than to pay to crash in a hotel for up to Rs. 3.
Bollywood is also a pastime for Indians. It was invented by Reena Malhotra, a woman who was born with elephantiasis in Kolkata and who sold postcards in Mumbai. It is believed that she asked her rich uncle for a loan on her 18th birthday and got enrolled in an Academy for Visual Arts. Somehow she learned something there to someway return to Mumbai to sometime start Bollywood. All the rest is fiction.
According to a famous film critic, who says this on the condition of anonymity fearing murder, until recently Bollywood denied the existence of sex. Any and every intimate scene, if ever it passed the censor boards, was depicted by two flowers rubbing against each other with their private areas blurred out. The censored rape scenes involved thunder and lightning or huge tidal waves hitting the rocks.

The Real Story of M.K. Gandhi

Nathuram Godse is often a misunderstood character. He is referred to as a Hindu fanatic. It is often hard to understand Godse because the Government of India had suppressed information about him. His court statements, letters etc. were all banned from the public until recently. Judging from his writings one thing becomes very clear – He was no fanatic. His court statements are very well read out and indicate a calm and collected mental disposition. He never even once speaks ill about Gandhi as a person, but only attacks Gandhi’s policies which caused ruin and untold misery to Hindus. Another interesting point to note is that Godse had been working with the Hindu refugees fleeing from Pakistan. He had seen the horrible atrocities committed on them. Many women had their hands cut off, nose cut off, even little girls had been raped mercilessly. Despite this Godse did not harm even single Muslim in India which he could easily have. So it would be a grave mistake to call him a Hindu fanatic.

Let us start by studying the motive behind Godse’s act. By seeing the nature of the assassination in public space and Godse’s act of turning himself over to the Police, we can see that Godse did not do this for personal reasons. He very well knew that he would be hanged and his name would be disgraced as Gandhi was considered a saint. And again Godse could have ran away and escaped punishment. But he did the reverse. He called a police officer and courted arrest. Before we proceed it would be wise to understand the backdrop of the assassination.

The central government had taken a decision — Pakistan will not be given Rs 55 crores. On January 13 Gandhi started a fast unto death that Pakistan must be given the money. On January 13, the central government changed its earlier decision and announced that Pakistan would be given the amount. On January 13, Nathuram decided to assassinate Gandhi.

Nathuram Godse was a learned man, very sharp and intelligent – editor of “Agrani” (one of the most famous newspaper of that time – with Nana Aapte). In his last editorial of “Agrani” which he changed overnight – he said:

 “Gandhi must be stopped – at any cost” and he justified why Gandhiji’s assassination was not only inevitable but also a delayed action, something that shud’ve happened LONG AGO.

In Nathuram’s words – ” I don’t refute Gandhi’s theory of non-violence. He may be a saint but he is not a politician. His theory of non-violence denies self-defence and self-interest. The non-violence that defines the fight for survival as violence is a theory not of non-violence but of self-destruction.The division of the nation was an unnecessary decision. What was the percentage of the Muslim population as compared to the population of the nation? There was no need for a separate nation. Had it been a just demand, Maulana Azad would not have stayed back in India. But because Jinnah insisted and because Gandhi took his side, India was divided, in spite of opposition from the nation, the Cabinet. An individual is never greater than a nation.

In a democracy you cannot put forward your demands at knife-point. Jinnah did it and Gandhi stabbed the nation with the same knife. He dissected the land and gave a piece to Pakistan. We did picket that time but in vain. The Father of our Nation went to perform his paternal duties for Pakistan! Gandhi blackmailed the cabinet with his fast unto death. His body, his threats to die are causing the destruction — geographical as well as economical — of the nation. Today, Muslims have taken a part of the nation, tomorrow Sikhs may ask for Punjab. The religions are again dividend into castes, they will demand sub-divisions of the divisions. What remains of the concept of one nation, national integration? Why did we fight the British in unison for independence? Why not separately? Bhagat Singh did not ask only for an independent Punjab or Subhash Chandra Bose for an independent Bengal?

I am going to assassinate him in the open, before the public, because I am going to do it as my duty. If I do it surreptitiously, it becomes a crime in my own eyes. I will not try to escape, I will surrender and naturally I will be hanged. One assassination, one hanging. I don’t want two executions for one assassination and I don’t want your involvement, participation or company. (This was for Nana-Apte and Veer Savarkar as they were against ghandhi’s policies too, Godse wanted to assassinate gandhi all by himself and took promise from Nana Apte that he will continue helping Veer Savarkar in rebuilding India as a strong free nation.)

On January 30, I reached Birla Bhavan at 12 pm. Gandhi was sitting outside on a cot enjoying the sunshine. Vallabhbhai Patel’s granddaughter was sitting at his feet. I had the revolver with me. I could have assassinated him easily then, but I was convinced that his assassination was to be a punishment and a sentence against him, and I would execute him. I wanted witnesses for the execution but there were none. I did not want to escape after the execution as there was not an iota of guilt in my mind. I wanted to surrender, but surrender to whom? There was a good crowd to collect for the evening prayers. I decided on the evening of January 30 as the date for Gandhi’s execution.

Gandhi climbed the steps and came forward. He had kept his hands on the shoulders of the two girls. I wanted just three seconds more. I moved two steps forward and faced Gandhi. Now I wanted to take out the revolver and salute him for whatever sacrifice and service he had made for the nation. One of the two girls was dangerously close to Gandhi and I was afraid that she might be injured in the course of firing. As a precautionary measure I went one more step ahead, bowed before him and gently pushed the girl away from the firing line. The next moment I fired at Gandhi. Gandhi was very weak, there was a feeble sound like ‘aah’ (There are proof that Gandhi did NOT say “Hey Raam” at that time – it’s just made up stuff ) from him and he fell down.

After the firing I raised my hand holding the revolver and shouted, ‘Police, police’. For 30 seconds nobody came forward and I scanned the crowd. I saw a police officer. I signalled to him to come forward and arrest me. He came and caught my wrist, then a second man came and touched the revolver… I let it go…”

This sentence has five words

This sentence has five words. Here are five more words. Five-word sentences are fine. But several together become monotonous. Listen to what is happening. The writing is getting boring. The sound of it drones. It’s like a stuck record. The ear demands some variety. Now listen. I vary the sentence length, and I create music. Music. The writing sings. It has a pleasant rhythm, a lilt, a harmony. I use short sentences. And I use sentences of medium length. And sometimes, when I am certain the reader is rested, I will engage him with a sentence of considerable length, a sentence that burns with energy and builds with all the impetus of a crescendo, the roll of the drums, the crash of the cymbals–sounds that say listen to this, it is important.

Author: Gary Provost.

The Shocking, Funny, Moving and Inspirational story of a Sarcastic Super Hero!

The time was 1993, it looked like he was at the top of his life, he was living out of fantasy and he was the top star in Hollywood. There’s a loving wife, a newborn son, and an Oscar nomination for his performance. Then, something had got in the way of the actor’s deserved promotion to star parts. Word was getting around about his private life, and frightening the projects away. Until 1996, none of the actor’s problems had become public. But his image was beginning to shake. He lost himself to drug abuse.

But in 2008, this 43-year old mature, and intriguingly ambivalent actor marveled everyone with a movie, which attained him the block-buster glory, an actor who not long ago was deemed too unreliable to be employable. The actor is the most brilliant and versatile actor of our generation, he is a genius, playboy, billionaire and a philanthropist. Guess who is it? It’s our very own The Iron Man disguised as Mr. Tony Stark none other than  Robert Downey Jr.

I did a little research on the man himself (Wikipedia motherfucker) and found out this:

• The son of underground filmmaker Robert Downey, Downey Jr. was born in New York City on April 4, 1965. His mother was also an actress. Robert Downey Sr. handed him small parts in his films, casting Robert when he was only five years old.
• Downey Sr. also introduced his son a thing, which no parent would think of. He allegedly shared his first marijuana cigarette with Downey Sr. when he was eight years old. “I think a lot of us did things and thought it would be hypocritical not to have our kids participate in marijuana, and so we thought it was cute to let them smoke it and all. It was an idiot move on our parts.” Downey Senior admits.
• When Robert turned thirteen, his parents divorced and he moved onto Los Angeles to live with his father.  Three years later, Robert dropped out of high school, and moved back to New York to live with his mother. Between 1972 and 1990, he made cameo appearances in five of his father’s films.
• Robert’s first significant role, in 1983’s Baby, It’s You, largely ended up on the cutting-room floor; it wasn’t until two years later that he began landing more substantial parts, first as a one-season cast member on Saturday Night Live and then in the comedy Weird Science.
• In 1987, he landed plum roles in two films that capitalized the ‘Saturday Night Live fame’, James Toback’s The Pick-Up Artist, andLess Than Zero, for which he won acclaim playing cocaine addict Julian Wells. His roles in movies like Short Cuts, Richard III, Chaplin, and Natural Born Killers wowed viewers around the world.
• In fact, critics deemed Downey’s portrayal as one of the only worthwhile elements in the Chaplin biopic, and it earned a Best Actor Oscar nomination, as well as Golden Globe and British Academy Award noms. Around this time, Downey’s personal life took a turn for the worse. 
• In June 1996, the LAPD arrested the actor (who had already spent time in three rehabilitation facilities between 1987 and 1996) on counts including drug use, driving under the influence, possession of a concealed weapon, and possession of illegal substances. A month after this arrest, police found Downey Jr. unconscious on a neighbor’s lawn, under the influence of a controlled substance, and authorities again incarcerated him, taking him this time to a rehab center.
• A third arrest soon followed, as did another stint in rehab. His stay in rehab didn’t last long, as he walked out, thereby violating the conditions of his bail. More arrests and complications followed.
• In 1999, he had three films out in theaters: Friends and Lovers,Bowfinger, and In Dreams. He delivered a particularly chilling performance in the latter, as longhaired psychopathic child murderer Vivian Thompson, that arguably ranked with his finest work. But Downey’s problems caught up with him again that same year, when he was re-arrested and sentenced to 12 months in a state penitentiary. 
• In 2002, a Riverside, CA, judge dismissed all counts against Downey. In time, the former addict counseled other celebrity addicts and became something of a spokesperson for rehabilitation.
• Downey continued to show his versatility by joining the casts ofZodiac, David Fincher’s highly-touted film about the Zodiac Killer, and the Diane Arbus biopic Fur, with Nicole Kidman.
• Apart from his acting career, Robert has also developed another profession as a music artist through the launching of his debut album, “The Futurist”, under Sony Classical on November, 2004.
• The biggest was yet to come, however, as 2007 found Downey taking on the roles that would make him an even bigger star than he’d been in his youth, as he took on the leading role of sarcastic billionaire and part-time super hero Tony Stark in the big screen adaptation of the comic book Iron Man, as well as self-important actor Kirk Lazarus in the comedy Tropic Thunder. Both films turned out to be not just blockbuster successes at the box office, but breakaway hits with critics as well.
• Trade Mark : Known for not being especially humble. Sarcastic humorous deliveries while remaining completely stone-faced. Frequently plays intelligent but eccentric characters.

Ranked #60 in Time Magazine’s 100 Most Influential People in the world. Is the first, and thus far only, actor to win a Golden Globe for portraying Sherlock Holmes.

 Downey’s journey from hell to Hollywood fame is shocking, funny, moving, and inspirational. From his first role as a five year old to a billionaire Tony Stark, in Avengers, he is a distinctive and shinning star of Hollywood. Robert Downey Jr. is the real ‘Iron Man’ because he has harnessed all his inner demons.

Thanks Robert!

The Indian “Red Dot”, The English ruling India.

Y’all know it amazes me how the so called NRI people think that the little traditions that Indian people follow are actually stupid & silly. They are followed very strictly because they are 100 years old traditions for us like the little “Bindi” or as the NRI would call it the red little dot is actually a very old tradition followed by the married woman of India.  It’s not like the little “Red Dot on the Forehead”  is a button & by pressing that button the person wearing that “Bindi” will go on a standby mode. So relax, it’s not a standby button.

India is a free country, we are free of those  “Angrejo ka raaj” if we didn’t have independence then we would still be  sipping tea and would be praying to the queen of England instead of all the different gods that Indians pray right now & we would  be playing cricket day in and day out. Oh! i forgot, India lives, breathes,shits,pisses,farts cricket. Everything is related to cricket in India these days. But still, if the English ruled in India, Cricket would be our national sport.

And just FYI, We dont talk in English like the way Russell Peter imitates the Indians. we never ever talk like that! that’s just plain stupid.

Love is Blind, Marriage is an Eye-Opener

SARCASM: Nobody ever does it better than me!

Dr. Anmol Jani PHD. In Sarcanomics

The best Revenge plan for your Ex-GF is to get married. Conditions May Apply.

The Evolution

Hello, my dear lovebirds, if you are reading this post while holding hands with your wife or soon-to-be wife.Then, let me warn you after reading this post your life is gonna turn upside down. if you still want to read then, Suit yourself.

Nicely dedicated to all the lovebirds who are patient of the LOVEY DOVEY EFFECT . i know the day you turn 25 your parents start searching for your life partner and in some case men introduce their girlfriends to their parents and some tell their parents that they are gay and it turns out to be your mum dads worst nightmare. We all know how the parents pressure you saying, “I dont have so much time left, i want to see my grand kids before i go”. So you get married before you even get a single white hair or before you go bald. And once you go into the marriage season you will never come out of it.

Marriage is like being BLACK, because once you `go black you never go back.

And then once you get married, the real fun ride starts and everything you do after marriage ends up on a video site or on Facebook. let’s get started:

1. PHOTOS: I totally get it, you are getting married, you need to live and cherish this moment forever you wanna take photos and videos as memories. so you click all the pictures of the Engagement, Mehendi, the Pre-Wedding and all the dances then the wedding, the dinner, the post wedding party and last but not the least the reception.you take all the pics and share it with your friends on facebook. make an album and name it “Bandhan Saat janmo ka!” the thing is i am frustrated and irritated with all the nonsensical drama bullshit. that’s why i dont attend weddings anymore. So, unless your cousin is sexy and hot as hell, please dont upload the pics.

2. The I-get-your-last-name theory: Now, this is some interesting stuff. let me explain, you get married. OK, then why the girl changes her own name. let’s take a famous example, Aishwarya Rai  gets married to Abhishek Bachchan and then she changes her own name from Ashwarya Rai to Ashwarya Rai Bachchan. WHY? that’s not all, married couple sometimes does the mistake to operate from one facebook account. How in the hell can you have a common social networking account? it’s a social networking site man, c’mon! it’s made for an individual. And what happens if that couple decide to  get a divorce, who keeps the facebook account? Huh? and then what happens the court agrees to the divorce. the lawyers fight over who should get that Facebook account. that will be an amazing courtroom scene. i wouldn’t miss to see that.

3. Our kids are actually cute: This is not your fault actually. This is hardwired I guess. A new born baby has got to be beautiful, cute, sweet and all that, Right? Look at him, isn’t he cute?, isn’t he?- Absolutely (To fellow Pissed off people: The best way to diplomatically handle this situation is to say, “He/She looks just like you, No seriously, just like you”, now whatever that means). Is this not enough that we say all these nice stuff when he/she is born that you go ahead and make your kid participate in who’s the cutest contest?, WTF? I bet in future your kid will make you participate in who is more retarded, my mom or my dad contest?

4. Who’s the best: Who the hell are you, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie? Why do you keep participating in all these contests? If you think you are the perfect couple, good for you. Why do you need that constant affirmation from your friends on that? Bring this to an end alright. I ask this nicely because couples like to hear and believe that they look perfect together, may be you do or may be you are just stupid. Who am I to say? I’ll pray to whomsoever required, will bribe if need be, to make you guys win if that ensures a once and for all end to this.

5. How about a PDA: I swear on my newly brought computer hard disk that if there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s PDA! More so, if you are already married. I get it when I see a 3rd year engineering guy cozing up with a 2nd year DU chick at central park. I do. These guys are short of space. But you? You guys are married for hell’s sake. Show some decency. That’s all I ask.

Till then have a happy married life.

To,

Future Mrs. Jani,

Please don’t be mad at me after reading this post. I promise, I’ll let you upload all these stupid pics and stuff wherever and whenever you like. If you dont want to change your last name then, what will not happen, no questions asked. We’ll name our babies (I say babies, my only wish) as derivatives of your name, so they’ll automatically be cute and all that. We’ll participate in all these contests too and will send requests to the complete friends list to like our entry. And last, we’ll make love in that central park if that’s what you want. I love you Mrs. Jani, in advance.

I’m the winged cupid, stupid!

The unluckiest number in everybody’s life is 13. But, for me its 14. You see what falls after 4 days is what people call “The Valentines Day” or “The day of love, where couples come together exchange lovey dovey smiles and give each other flying kisses and the guy gives her a box of chocolates and then she looks at the price tag and says, ” The price of my love is just 750 rupees of Ferrero Rocher.” And then the girls open the box and eats all the chocolates, they don’t even share 😦 Some one will say that i am very unlucky that i don’t have a date at valentines day. But. i will consider myself very lucky, that i don’t have to spend 1000 rupees on my girlfriend and give her stupid chocolate boxes and valentine cards and a bouquet and exchange all the flying kisses. I’m a MAN, i don’t prefer to do that. so, i made up a list of what i’ll do at valentines day without a date. So, here it Goes:

No Date… No Problem!

I Ain't got a date

1. If you are a home person just like me, then help your mom in household chores. Or here’s an interesting thing. Plant an idea on your parents mind to just let everything go at 14th. Let them have fun and see the sparks fly. Arrange a date for them, make the arrangements. book a fine table for two at one of the best restaurants in your city. trust me, you’ll feel good inside that you made your parents life interesting again. Ooh! i’m getting a little bit senti .

2. If you’re a computer enthusiast like me then date online with other lady geeks. login to sites like cloudgirlfriend or zoosk and start dating someone online. Don’t worry, eventually you’re gonna end up having fun or being aroused by a man.

3. Find an amusement park in your city. go there have fun, eat, drink, go on a roller coaster ride and then puke on little kids. trust me, it’s better than spending 1000 rupees for your girlfriend buying Chocolates and cards and jeans of her size which you cant find in the entire state. 😉

4. Go for a Road trip. fill some petrol/diesel in your vehicle and go as fast as you can. You get the excitement, the thrill and you’ll enjoy each and every moment of it. trust me, you’ll never for get that moment of your life. Or, If you cant go on a road trip then sit your ass down on the sofa and watch Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara ( The Indian version of road trip filled with love and romace 😦 )

Last but not the least……………

5. Attempt Suicide. (Because you have failed…. Failed to get a date on 14th February Valentines day!)

I’m planning to do at least one of the things on 14th. what are you gonna do?
Anmol Jani – I bring the “F” into Funny! Or at least i think so.

Happy Valentines day (in Advance) Fuc***s.

Like, comment and share this post with your friends if you don’t have a date on Valentines and if you do have then, get a picture of you and your date together and tell me how’d you had your valentines day together and mail it to me on janianmol@hotmail.com.

I still have more to post, so keep reading ,facebooking, tweeting and also join me on Facebook: Anmol Jani and also on twitter: Anmol Jani

Thanks for reading My #Life.

The Secret in Loving Yourself

Soul awareness is easy to get into and just as easy to fall out of.We fall out of Soul awareness so easily because the world wants us to go that way.The material world has a billion distractions,so you need to watch where you place your focus and be careful what you create.If you want Soul, find joy in yourselfand in everything around you.

This WONDERFUL thing that you call LIFE is not about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself.

I, Me & Myself.

By getting to know yourself, you get to start loving yourself. Don’t just love the good part of you, start expressing your love towards your good, bad, light and dark. feel all the sides of your life, once you feel it, you start in believing it. And by believing in it you’ll start to like it and end up falling in love with it.

This is an interesting thing which happens in everyone’s life. When you don’t like a part in your life, you always try to fight it and eventually you will give up. Then you start to disown that part through many processes like denial, self judgement, you feel like being a victim of the situation and then you start to disconnect yourself from that part of your life spiritually and emotionally.

through the negative vibrations around and inside you, you start feeling weak emotions and that is when you attack your life and weaken its growth.

The Soul, which is motionless in its purity,cannot be reached by the mind,which is usually moving.The mind is going too fastto enter the frequency of Spirit.

The negative vibrations make you reject the true-self and makes you a wannabe and that wannabe lives in anger, worry and fear. We must Embrace all the good and the bad, all the hate and suffering, just embrace it. Don’t worry though, the true-self in you can never get the hate running in your veins. The true-self  is a bliss, a true soul, a sign and a part of god. By being true to yourself, you can get authentic power and that power is to love yourself. By being someone whom you are not faithful to, then it can lead to problems your true-self, Emotionally and Mentally.

To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream,not only plan, but also believe.
                   – Anatole France

The physical world is full of errors and frustrations and mistakes. They are all opportunities to refine your level of awareness so you can get closer to who you are. Who you are is so subtle that many of you have been in your Soul and out the other side without realizing it. The Soul is a small, integral unit of energy, yet the cosmos and all the universes are contained within it. The Soul is the prototype for all existence. It goes beyond the intellect.

True to ourselves, we lead a healthier life physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Like, comment and share this post with your friends if you’re true to yourself and love yourself.

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The culture we live in!

What if we looked at the whole life time experience as an act, like you’re acting in a big film and you’re main guy. You don’t fight a villain here. Just do your act and have fun with it. Instead of getting bored and judging your boredom, have fun with it. Celebrate your life the way it is.

In Hollywood and TV industry they give Awards to people as a compliment for doing a good role in movie or show. Now think about it, what if you get award for living your life the way you want it. I’m a quite shy fellow, so I don’t open up so good with people. I like staying aloof and observing people. Observing their characters and their roles in their life and watching emotions come and go. So, I’m a good observer, I get a good observer award. So, you’re in the awards function and after some guy/gal announces my name and I stand up feeling proud about myself (Actually feeling Shy/Shi**y). I walk on the stage and accept the award and I go to the microphone and start to curse(Thanking) everyone and after giving the speech the music starts playing and I burst into tears and I start saying, “This one’s for you.

That’s the Sh*t right there. So, it’s not just me, we all live in a shitty culture that worships the celebs and actress and all the wannabes. The inner me (Self) doesn’t want any kinda fame or recognition and wealth. But the wannabe in me wants it, and he is very desperate to get it and a wannabe is a person who wants attention, and he screams and shouts and trolls till he gets it.

Living life is like looking in a mirror. What is reflected back to us, by way of other people, is the state of our being, our consciousness. If we are angry, we may think that person over there is pretty angry. If we’re full of doubt, then we may think that the other person is full of doubt. The big secret is that beyond the mirror is the land of Soul.

 

Alexander the great is going to see the famous Greek philosopher Diogenes. Diogenes asks Alexander,

“What are you doing?”

Alexander replies, “I’m going to conquer Greece.”

Diogenes asks, “And what are you going to do after that?”

Alexander tells him, “I’m going to conquer Asia Minor.”

“And then what are you going to do?” Diogenes asks.

“Then I’m going to conquer the world,” Alexander replies.

Again, Diogenes asks, “And after that what are you going to do?” “Then,” says Alexander, very pleased with himself, “I’m going to relax and enjoy my life.”

 

Diogenes looks at Alexander for a long time and then finally says, “You know, I can save you a lot of trouble. Why don’t you relax and enjoy it now?”

Like, comment and share this post with your friends if you’re true to yourself.

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Setting up your Priorities

Can you make a difference?

A philosophy professor stood before his class with some items on the table in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, about 2 inches in diameter.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “Yes.”

“Now,” said the professor, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are the important things – your family, your partner, your health, your children – things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter – like your job, your house, your car.

The sand is everything else. The small stuff.”

“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued “there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal.

Take care of the rocks first – the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

Always live your life the way you want it, but with no regrets.

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